To be quite honest, I read the horoscopes when i’m low on cash. Really. It usually gives me a lift that coffee often lacks and propels me into an abnormally hopeful belief that everything will turn out just fine somehow (it always does). I suppose that between my lack of religious knowledge and skepticism that aliens do not already walk among us, I am easily swayed by the thought that the stars and planets might bring me a lambo.
As expected, I was somewhat intrigued by the news that some star guys at the Minnesota Planetarium Society had determined that due to the moons gravitational pull on earth, we were all living with the false belief of what our true zodiac sign truly was. Basically, we all had our signs pushed ahead one, thus simultaneously imploding the global twitter network in a fit of panic and rage.
I did not panic …I googled like any person that has absolutely no idea on a particular subject or topic. What I discovered was that I had the good fortune of becoming one of the newest cool kid crew, the Ophiuchus. Yes, it’s hard to figure out the correct pronunciation and the best explanation I have for that is this phonetic attempt….off-ih-YOU-cuss. Ok, so what does this mean about myself and others like me?
Astrologers have determined that we now are guilty of the following…..
- · Seeker of peace and wisdom
- · Attractor of good luck and jealousy
- · Interpreter of dreams
- · One who reaches for the stars
- · Wearer of plaid (this one is oddly specific)
I say, awesome. I mean, even the plaid is a little retro cool in its own right…it gotta be, Target ads have people wearin it. So, while the rest of humanity is sulking like they’ve just discovered they were switched at birth (or that they’re not Ophiuchus’s), I see this as an opportunity.
Stuff is a little out of whack most everywhere we look so why not use this new found sense of zodiac self as a springboard to start something new in this new year. I say, rock on Ophiuchus’s!!! Let’s take our plaid, hater blocker wearin selves.somewhere right up there with those funky outta whack stars in 2011….or at least to the gym…..i dunno.
Thanks for wasting your time with me,